Stop Living in Fear
There are only a few more days in 2019 and that means 2020 is almost here. A new year, a new decade will soon be upon us and I don’t know about you, but, I’ve learned some hard lessons this year. I’ve pushed myself to achieve some amazing goals this year and still faced some tremendous hurt and pain. Growth is essential just as change is inevitable and if we are to reap what we have sown then we must adhere to the lessons in front of us. I want to share some things that I have learned over this last year.
1. Love yourself and find value in who you are. You matter.
2. I’m responsible for my happiness, no one else’s.
3. For a person to have potential they must recognize that; it is not up to me or anyone else to recognize it for that individual. They must see it on their own.
4. Leave the past in the past. Not everything is a mistake, sometimes it’s a disappointment.
5. It is my job to hold people accountable for how they treat me.
6. No one needs another person to complete them. A companion joins another independent person to make a set to enhance their life.
7. Once you acknowledge your struggles now you can work through them and make informed decisions.
8. Fear is a scary place to live in, however, if we make decisions based on fear we may end up in regret.
In 2020, I want to stop living in fear and begin to live life in faith. I know that God has delivered me from some pain, struggle, depression, doubt, suicide, and sadness. Now I want to live in the light and not darkness. An attitude of positive expectancy has come over me. I can see my desires and goals and I never want to veer from this path. Fear will keep you trapped and repeating cycles of behavior because you don’t want to admit that you’re afraid.
In 2019, I finally completed my degree, which took a huge amount of courage to go back to school. As a wife and mother with much more responsibility it was more difficult to balance and maintain home, children, husband, and professional obligations. However, God blessed me to make it through and encourage others to go back and achieve their dreams. I can see the path that is laid out before me. Graduate school is not just a possibility, it’s a certainty. Two years ago, I produced my first play and in 2020, I want to produce my first film. My children are thriving and I feel more confident in my decision-making abilities, which took a hit when I was going through my battle with depression.
Indecisiveness filled me and held me, hostage, while the world moved on without a beat. Depression made me feel like I was trapped in darkness and that time elapsed slowly. I tried to ignore it by being busy, but it wasn’t enough of a distraction. Unfortunately, depression makes you retreat into yourself especially when you need help the most. And I needed help. Therapy and walking daily helped to get me back on track. Acknowledging my struggles, pain and sadness allowed me to control my toxic thoughts. That process allowed me to discover some hard truths about myself and my life. It is still a struggle, however, each day I put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. I must not give up. I matter. It’s my responsibility to own my health and attitude.
2020 is almost here and I am going to walk into this New Year, this next decade free of the baggage and fear that has held me back. Anxiety and panic can no longer be my friends. God is leading me and directing me. My faith is strengthened because of what he has brought me through. He’s the same God yesterday, today and tomorrow. Don’t let apprehension take away your joy and peace. If you’re living in fear take a look at what scares you and face it. Take away the power from fear. Allow yourself to thrive. Don’t allow fear to force you into something that is not for you, stop living in fear.
